viznut's amazing discoveries

[2007-04-01]

The best of Conservapedia

Happy April fools' day! Now that no one believes anything I write, it's perhaps safe to collect some humorous jewels from Conservapedia, the American fundamentalist rednecks' response to Wikipedia.

The Conservapedia Commandments: "1. Everything you post must be true and verifiable." Also, "Posting of obscenity here is punishable by up to 10 years in jail under 18 USC 1470. Vandalism is punishable up to 10 years in jail per 18 USC 1030. The IP addresses of vandals will be reported to authorities. That includes your employer and your local prosecutor."

Earth: Conservapedia lists several biblical arguments why Earth is 6000 years old, flat and fixed at the centre of the universe (with Sun revolving around it). It also claims that "Mainstream scientific journals do not publish these views, because they are ideologically opposed to them."

George W. Bush: "Though the liberal media continues to disparage Bush's handling of the economy, they often neglect to report the many aspects of the economy that Bush has improved. For example, during his term Exxon Mobile has posted the largest profit of any company in a single year, and executive salaries have greatly increased as well."

Evolution: A collection of all the old boring creationist arguments. Not really worth reading unless you haven't seen them anywhere else. Also, the dinosaur article tries to convince you that dinosaurs co-existed with humans.

Finland (an old revision of the article): "The Finns have a proud history of fighting communism and it defeated the Soviet Union in the Second World War. This was mainly because the constitution of the country defines the Christianity as the official religion. This has been considered by many historians, even by Atheists, as a miracle." This revision also states that the capital of Finland is Riga.

National Coalition: Kokoomus, the major right-wing party of Finland, is made to look like a bunch of extreme-right-wing xenophobics: "The party supports [...] ending immigration to Finland, especially for people from Somalia, because they feel that foreigners come to Finland just to use drugs and do not contribute to the economy."

Somalia: There are no two sentences without a mention of terrorism and/or al-Qaida.

Linux: Half of the article is about a distribution called "Ubuntu Satanic Edition" allegedly released by a group of Satanists. Mark Shuttleworth is a really evil guy for allowing such distributions to exist!

Examples of Bias in Wikipedia: This is a long one, but in summary: Wikipedia editors are atheists, liberalists, anti-Americans and anti-capitalists, and they even allow British spelling and the use of B.C.E and C.E. instead of B.C. and A.D.! Besides, the mere existence of some articles (such as "anti-racist mathematics") is untolerable bias.

And by the way, they have an article about ZX Spectrum but not about any Commodore products. What kind of liberalist anti-American hippie commie Wikipedia left-wing bias is this!